Speak Your Dark Pleasures to Me
by Lamia of the Dark
Summary: A collection of drabbles and oneshots exploring a sexual relationship between Levi and Hanji. (Focuses more on the relationship than the sex. Only a few of the chapters really earn the rating.) Established relationship. A mix of fluff, humor, and angst.
1. Observations

**DISCLAIMER: Attack on Titan belongs to Hajime Isayama.**

 **A/N: Each chapter in this collection will be a self-contained oneshot. While they do share a general theme and could all conceivably take place within the same universe, this is not a story with any real timeline or plot, just a collection of scattered moments.**

~ Speak Your Dark Pleasures to Me ~

"Hey," Levi said, nudging Hanji's shoulder. "Don't go to sleep yet."

He didn't know how she could even think of allowing herself to fall asleep at a moment like this, on such filthy sheets... but, apparently she could, as it appeared that she was very close to drifting off right at this moment.

" _Hanji_." He shook her more roughly this time.

Her eyelids flickered and she murmured a vague, "Hm?"

"Don't go to sleep," Levi repeated.

His orders, however, were no match for her state of exhaustion, and try as he might, he found that he could not rouse her from her slumber.

* * *

 _I can't remember the last time I've slept so well_ , Hanji thought to herself, not wanting to open her eyes and let her night of blessed rest end. Of course, it was most likely due to certain pre-bedtime activities that she had slept so deeply. Levi had been rather more enthusiastic tonight than on previous occasions... which reminded her, the last thing she remembered before passing out was Levi telling her not to go to sleep. _Ooh, he's probably going to be mad at me_.

It was then that she realized Levi was asleep beside her, with his forehead resting lightly against her shoulder and one arm draped over her waist. Although it was still dark out, Hanji used her other senses to take stock of her surroundings.

 _Sheets: clean. Self: clean, naked. Levi: also clean, only half naked, kind-of almost cuddling me_.

She chuckled quietly to herself as she imagined documenting her observations of their relationship the way she did her Titan research.

 _An important discovery has been made: if Subject Z passes out immediately after conducting sexual activities with Subject A, then Subject A will proceed to wash Subject Z while Subject Z sleeps_.

Of course, she wouldn't actually write things like that down, on the off-chance that someone snooping through her research journals might find out about their relationship - which was currently a secret, even from those closest to them.

~oOo~


	2. Bonds

~ Speak Your Dark Pleasures to Me ~

He was afraid that once she fully explored his body, she would grow bored with him and start looking at other men. He wasn't ready for her attention to shift to another target yet. Or, more accurately, he was a possessive bastard and he wanted to keep her for as long as possible. But she was not a woman who would allow herself to be owned by someone she no longer had an interest in either possessing or being possessed by.

He was shit with words, though, and had no idea how to convince her that they belonged with each other. So he resolved to simply hold onto her for as long as he could.

She seemed happy enough to let him be the dominant one in bed, and didn't seem entirely surprised the first time he decided to tie her hands to the headboard so that she wouldn't be able to touch him while he did as he pleased with her.

The second time, she reveled in it, giving herself up to him in total abandon, seemingly enjoying the extent to which he dominated her in this particular position.

The fourth time, she fought him. When he recoiled in shock at her reaction, she rushed to assure him that she was not retracting consent; she wanted to see what it was like to be taken forcefully while she resisted. He refused. Even if it were done with his partner's full consent, he could not bring himself to commit such an act.

He untied the leather cord from around her wrists, before settling onto the bed beside her. He pulled her on top of him, urging her to take the lead for once. She did so with a grin. She ran her hands over the bare flesh of his chest, his abs, his thighs, eager to tease him. But then she stopped suddenly, pulling away, her expression troubled. Perhaps she was thinking that the reason he tied her hands was because he preferred not to be touched in such ways?

He started to say something to encourage her, but he hadn't gotten farther than "Hey" when her face lit with excitement once more, and she moved to straddle him. He remained lying flat on his back as she mounted him. His hands automatically went to her hips to steady her as she straightened her spine and raised her arms over her head. She shook her hair back and crossed her wrists behind her neck - giving him a perfect, unobstructed view of her breasts as she began to ride him.

Afterward - after they had both bathed and he'd changed the sheets - when she crawled into bed beside him, clearly desiring affection, although she did not go so far as to voice the request, he realized as he wrapped his arms around her, that he had been considering her feelings in precisely the wrong way. Instead of scheming of ways to 'keep' her, he should be doing things that will please her... Not to make her want to stay with him, but because he doesn't want to be the asshole who causes the smile to fall from her face.

~oOo~


	3. Breath

~ Speak Your Dark Pleasures to Me ~

She sleeps like the dead. So still and so quiet, it honestly scares him.

He finds himself checking to make sure she's breathing, telling himself he's an idiot for it while he's doing it. When she dies, it will be in the mouth of a titan, not here in his bed.

It just seems unnatural for such a hyperactive person to be so completely devoid of movement. He would have expected her to toss and turn, or talk in her sleep, or at least _snore_. But, no... apparently she is the type to slip quickly and quietly into unconsciousness. He knows she is only sleeping and when she wakes, she will be her usual energetic self again.

But it still bothers him to see her like this, because he can so easily imagine that she is dead. Needless to say, he does not like the thought of that.

He draws her into his arms, her back against his chest, and buries his face against the nape of her neck. And although she does not move or make a sound in response to his actions, the feel of her heartbeat and the heat of her skin are enough to chase away his fears.

~oOo~

 **A/N:** Well, this turned a bit dark. If you're wondering at what point in their relationship this would take place, it would be the first time they actually sleep in the same bed together, but not the first time they've had sex.


	4. Limits

~ Speak Your Dark Pleasures to Me ~

When it comes to bedroom activities, Hanji is definitely the more adventurous of the two. She is willing to try just about anything once, although she is not hesitant in calling a halt to the proceedings when she finds an act or position to be unpleasant after all. And while Levi could hardly be called a prude, there are hard limits to what he is willing to try.

Tonight she brings up the topic of an act that he has already refused to perform several times in the past.

"I've told you before, I am _not going to do that_ ," Levi snarls. "It's filthy and disgusting!"

"It doesn't have to be," Hanji protests, undeterred.

"I'm not doing anything that will involve me getting shit on my dick, and that's final!"

"There are ways to prevent-"

"If you really want to do _that_ so badly, go find someone else to do it with!"

When she does not respond immediately, he thinks he's won the battle and the subject will be dropped. A few long moments pass before the silence begins to make him uncomfortable, and he notices that she is staring at him with a speculative gaze.

"What?" he snaps.

"Oh, nothing," she replies, her offhanded tone causing his scowl to deepen. "I was waiting to see if you were really breaking it off with me or if you were just angry. And since you haven't thrown me out of the room yet, I'm assuming 'just angry'."

True, he'd said it in the heat of the moment, but his suggestion had also not been entirely insincere.

"And if it was a serious suggestion?" he asks. When her expression sours, he hastens to add, "But I also don't intend on ending our... relationship... thing."

"Oh..." Hanji brightens up as an idea strikes her. "Does this mean you want to watch?"

"What? Why the fuck would I want to watch?"

Hanji sighs. "It may surprise you to learn that I _generally_ prefer a committed, exclusive relationship with a single sexual partner. However, I am willing to indulge in polyamory if that's what turns you on."

Levi stalks toward her.

"I don't _want_ to share you," he says, taking her into his arms. "But you keep asking me to do something I've already told you I can't do."

He aches to tell her that every time she brings it up, it makes him feel like he isn't doing enough to please her, like he is less of a man for being so averse to an act which other men would jump on the opportunity to perform. Yet, at the same time, he doesn't want to admit his weakness to her, or to let her know her how deep his feelings run when their "relationship" was just supposed to be about the sex.

He is drawn out of his thoughts by the feeling of Hanji wrapping him in a tight embrace.

"I'm sorry," she says quietly. "I won't bring it up again if you're really _that_ against it." She presses a soft kiss to the top of his head, and for that one brief moment, he is glad that she is taller than him. She continues, "But I want you to know that I asked you about it again because we've been together for a while now and experimented with a lot of things, and I thought you might be ready to try it now. It's not just that I wanted to do _it_ \- I want to do it with _you_."

He is glad that she's better at all this being-honest-with-your-feelings shit, too.

"Maybe," he whispers against her neck.

"What was that you said?"

"Maybe," he repeats, louder this time. "I'm not saying soon, or for sure... but sometime in the future, maybe."

~oOo~

 **A/N:** So, this was just supposed to be a humorous little drabble about Levi refusing to do anal, but it turned into this.


	5. Spoons

~ Speak Your Dark Pleasures to Me ~

From the way he acts in public, most people would never be able to guess that Levi is a snuggle-bug who greatly enjoys cuddling. Of course, as with most things in his life, Levi prefers to be the dominant one during snuggle time.

Levi is laying curled up on his side, idly staring off into the dark as he waits for his lover to return from the bathroom. When he feels the mattress dip behind him, he starts to turn over, but is stopped by Hanji throwing her full weight on top of him.

"Get off, damn it!" he snaps.

He could easily fight free of her hold if he were willing to risk actually injuring her, but as he doesn't want that, his struggles are limited to his words and a vain attempt to wriggle away from her.

"No," Hanji replies, nuzzling the top of his head playfully. "You're the little spoon tonight."

"I don't want to be the little spoon," Levi protests. "I'm _always_ the big spoon!"

"Well, teaspoons are little and you like tea, so you should enjoy being the little spoon."

"What the fuck kind of shitty logic is that?"

"Shhh... hush, my little teaspoon, and go to sleep."

Despite her teasing words, he realizes that she's serious about this reversal of their usual roles for tonight. He sighs and ceases his struggles. Now that he's resigned himself to his fate, she settles into a more comfortable position behind him, wrapping one arm firmly around his waist and cradling him against her.

As he relaxes and starts to drift off, he slowly begins to realize that the little spoon's position is one of comfort and safety and being held like this actually feels kind of nice... although he would still rather be the big spoon.

~oOo~


	6. Capes

**A/N: This chapter turned out a bit more crack-y than I intended...**

~ Speak Your Dark Pleasures to Me ~

"Hey," Levi said flatly, stopping Hanji as she was about to leave the room. "That's my cape."

"How can you even tell the difference?"

"Yours reeks."

"Just wear that one! I've got this one on already and it's not like anyone will know."

"Fucking Mike will know."

"Oh, please, like 'Mr. Sniffy' doesn't already fucking know about us."

"Seriously, have you ever washed this thing? I swear it's carrying twice its natural weight in dirt."

"Ugh, fine."

She took off the cape she'd been wearing and flung it at him, and snatched the one he was holding out to her.

As luck would have it, they ran into Mike almost immediately after leaving Hanji's bedroom.

After a moment of awkward staring between the three of them, Mike said quietly, "You two... got your capes mixed up."

"Then, _that_ _one_ was mine the whole time?" Levi said, frowning.

"I never said it wasn't," Hanji replied.

"But if you knew, then why didn't you just tell me?"

"Because I knew I was right, but you were convinced you were right and you would have argued with me until I gave in anyway, so I did what would shut you up faster."

~oOo~


	7. Drown

~ Speak Your Dark Pleasures to Me ~

Water splashes over the side of the bathtub as the two of them awkwardly re-position themselves once more, each trying not to stick an elbow or a foot into the other's back or side or face while making sure all of their own body parts get washed. The tub is really too small for both of them to use together comfortably when their objective is actually to get clean, but ever since the time Hanji fell asleep in the bath and nearly drowned, Levi insists that they bathe together after sex.

Levi finishes first and climbs out of the tub. Hanji pauses in washing herself as she watches him briskly towel himself off.

He catches her staring and says, "It's nothing you haven't seen before."

"Doesn't mean I don't like _looking_ ," she replies, flicking water at him. The droplets fall far short of actually hitting him.

Levi glares briefly at the water on the floor before flashing his lover a smirk that she would almost dare to call _playful_.

"Now you're just trying to get me to bend over."

She laughs, and he feels an odd flutter of happiness at the sound.

"Are you almost finished in there?" he asks, as he secures the towel around his waist.

"I still have to wash my hair," Hanji answers, scowling as she fingers her split ends. "It's such a pain... maybe I should just cut it all off."

"Don't," he says. "It's pretty. You should take better care of it."

She's been told much the same thing before by previous lovers, but Levi's blunt declaration somehow sounds less insulting than _It could be pretty if you would just take better care of it_.

"Although, yeah, you could use a trim to get rid of the split ends," he adds, coming around to stand behind her. "Here, I'll wash it for you. Lean back and close your eyes."

"Maybe I'll just let you take care of it for me." She means for it to be a joke, but it doesn't come out sounding that way.

Levi snorts. "Like hell I'm doing this every day. You can take care of yourself; you just choose not to."

Hanji sighs and leans into his touch as his fingertips begin to massage her scalp.

"I'll even get you some of that fancy-ass shampoo from the market in Wall Sina if you promise you'll actually use it."

"Resorting to bribes now, huh? I promise I'll use it, so you better not be lying!"

~oOo~

 _You're a mess,_ _but yes you're beautiful_.

-Carolina Liar, "Drown"


	8. Changes

~ Speak Your Dark Pleasures to Me ~

Levi had always thought he would be happy when Hanji started taking better care of herself, but he had failed to consider certain consequences of her being generally well-groomed... namely, that other people would start noticing that she was attractive.

He couldn't help noticing that people tended to stand closer to her now. She received random casual compliments on her appearance from men and women alike and, unused to dealing with such comments, Hanji always brushed them off with an awkward laugh and a change of topic. Levi had to fight to keep himself from telling her to go back to her old disgusting ways.

His temper was short at the best of times, but Levi found himself lashing out more and more lately.

He nearly lost his shit when he arrived at Erwin's office for a strategy meeting only to find the commander leaning over Hanji, telling her, "You smell nice."

A nervous chuckle escaped her, but Hanji did not otherwise attempt to reply.

"I suppose we have Levi to thank for that," Erwin continued with a smile. He laughed at the shocked expression on her face following that pronouncement, and said, "Oh, come on, it's a well-known secret that the two of you are together. No one says anything to you about it out of respect for the fact that you haven't gone public with it."

"Does _everyone_ know?" Hanji croaked out - half horrified, half curious.

"Well, I mean... there are betting pools on everything from when you two will get married to whether your kid's first word will be 'shit' or 'titans'."

Observing this exchange from the doorway, Levi felt the knot of tension in his chest loosen for the first time since this whole ordeal had begun. As the other two burst into laughter, he found himself smirking along with them.

~oOo~

 **A/N:** Is clean!Hanji even a thing? Do other people write this?


	9. False Alarm

~ Speak Your Dark Pleasures to Me ~

"You know how I haven't felt well lately, and we thought I might be..." She trails off, as if hesitant to put her suspected condition into words.

He nods. This acknowledgement is all the encouragement she needs to continue.

"I went to the doctor today," she says. As his expression darkens, she rushes to assure him, "No, no! It's good news!"

"Really?" he asks. He starts to reach for her but hesitates. She sees the movement, though, and responds by throwing herself into his arms.

"Yes, really," she says, nuzzling the top of his head as he holds her tightly against him. "I'm definitely not pregnant!"

That isn't what he was expecting to hear and it takes a minute for the words to sink in.

"And you're... happy?" he says slowly.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I- oh." She pulls back and looks down at him, her expression serious. "Levi, do you _want_ a child?"

He doesn't answer, won't even look at her.

" _Levi_."

He draws her more firmly into his embrace and hides his face against her neck.

"It's not something I really thought about much before," he murmurs against her skin. And by _before_ , she knows he means before the possibility of having a child looked like it might become a reality for him. "But... I don't _hate_ the idea of being a dad."

Gentle fingers stroke through his hair.

"I'd feel sorry for our kid, though, if we had one," she says. "It's bad enough growing up with one parent in the Military Police. I can't imagine what it would be like to have both parents in the Survey Corps."

~oOo~


	10. Craving

~ Speak Your Dark Pleasures to Me ~

They've just returned from a mission. They're both injured and exhausted, only still on their feet due to the lingering effects of an adrenaline rush.

"Levi."

All she says is his name, but there's a certain pleading note to it and he knows exactly what she's asking of him. They go their separate ways to avoid drawing suspicion from the others. When he arrives at his quarters, she is already there waiting for him.

Still mostly dressed, with most of their gear still on, he takes her - quick and dirty - against the wall. There is no tenderness in the hard grip of their hands or the desperate grinding of their hips. There will be time for that later; it isn't what either of them need right now. They crave hard, violent proof that they are _alive_. The pleasure that breaks through the pain will be sharp and electric and _not enough_ , and then will come the time for gentleness and comfort.

* * *

She wakes to the sensation of water lapping around her shoulders.

"Hanji."

All he says is her name, but his tone is soft and reassuring, and that one spoken word is all it takes to bring the world into focus around her, even though she doesn't have her glasses on. She is in her lover's arms in the bath - two of her favorite places in the world.

He trails his fingers lightly down the length of her spine. There is a small splash as his hand dips below the water line, continuing its downward journey until he presses his palm flat against the small of her back. She snuggles closer to him, burying her face against his neck.

She vaguely recalls passing out mid-orgasm earlier.

"Hey, how tired are you?" she asks suddenly.

He makes a sound that is somewhere between a snort and a laugh.

"Too tired for a repeat of earlier, but not too tired for round two... as long as you're _gentle_ with me."

~oOo~


	11. Curiosity

~ Speak Your Dark Pleasures to Me ~

"Hey, you've been in there a really long time," Levi yelled through the bathroom door. "If you're that constipated, you might want to give up on it this time."

"Ha ha, very funny," Hanji shouted back. "I'm not shitting, dumbass. I'm in the bath!"

She jumped a little when the door swung open. She wasn't expecting him to come in.

"Aww, is somebody upset that I'm taking a bath without him?" she teased as he entered the bathroom.

"No," he replied flatly. "I think it's great that you've finally learned to wash yourself. I have to piss."

"Well, don't let me stop you. Go right ahead."

"What the hell are you staring at, Four Eyes? You've seen my dick plenty of times before. What, you really want to watch me piss?"

"Yeah."

" _Why?_ "

"Curiosity."

"Whatever, you weirdo."

It wasn't like he'd never done his business in front of other people before, which was somewhat unavoidable in the military (especially for the Survey Corps, who often ended up stranded in strange locations outside the walls), but he'd never had anyone deliberately watch him with such focused attention while he went.

She remained silent throughout the process of him relieving himself. She still hadn't made a single comment by the time he finished washing his hands, but he damn well wasn't going to ask what her opinion of the event was. He didn't even look at her as he left the room, and was halfway out the door when her voice called him back.

"Leviiiiiii~"

"What?"

"I think I have a new fetish..."

~oOo~


	12. Ribs

~ Speak Your Dark Pleasures to Me ~

She reaches for the buttons on his shirt but he bats her hand away.

"Need you," she whispers.

"No."

Unshaken by the flat, cold denial, she whines, " _Please_."

"Not when you're injured like this," he says.

"Oh, come on! I only cracked a few ribs."

His already-stormy expression grows darker at this proclamation, and she realizes that he is _afraid_. He doesn't trust himself to be gentle enough with her, and he is afraid that he will make her injuries worse.

They are already cuddling, but she still hasn't completely shaken off yesterday's mission, and she craves a deeper connection.

She sighs and says, "Just kiss me, you little asshole."

There is no real bite to the insult, and he seems more offended by being referred to as little than by being called an asshole - although objectively both are true.

" _Just_ kiss?" he repeats skeptically, one eyebrow raised.

"Yeah, you know, that thing you do with your mouth which does _not_ always mean we are about to have sex..."

~oOo~


	13. Trying

~ Speak Your Dark Pleasures to Me ~

He wakes her up with a soft kiss. As her eyelashes flutter open, he whispers, "Good morning, Beautiful."

She squints up at him, frowning.

"Who are you, and what have you done with Levi?"

"I'm trying to be _nice_!"

"Well, stop it. It's creeping me out."

He snorts and flops back against his pillow.

"What, so you'd rather have me call you 'Shitty Glasses'?"

"Well, yeah... that's what you've always called me. It didn't really bother me way back when you were actually trying to insult me with it, and I've since come to realize that it's what passes for friendly affection from you... and at least I actually wear glasses."

He starts to protest about the 'it passes for friendly affection' comment when the last part of what she said fully registers in his mind.

He turns to face her once more, and brings his hand up to cup her cheek.

"You _are_ beautiful," he says, as he gazes deep into her eyes. "It's your personality that puts most people off."

~oOo~


	14. Preferences

**A/N: I don't normally write modern!AU stuff, but after stumbling across a certain song, this idea wouldn't leave me alone, so... have a bit of modern!AU. (Yes, the song mentioned in this chapter is a real song.)**

~ Speak Your Dark Pleasures to Me ~

Hanji and Levi had vastly different tastes when it came to nearly every form of entertainment. When it came to video games, Levi liked the ones with simple controls and lots of blood-splatter, which were perfect for venting his frustrations. Hanji sarcastically referred to these as "bash 'em and smash 'em" games. She preferred video games with in-depth character customization, where strategy was required for every little decision, and battle was decided more by timing and skill choice than just landing hits on the enemy.

When it came to TV shows, Hanji was mostly interested in nature documentaries or crime dramas. Levi preferred more lowbrow entertainment, such as "reality" shows and sitcoms featuring a lot of toilet humor.

Music was where they were perhaps the least compatible. Levi listened to a lot of classical music and opera, which Hanji _could_ stand but found boring, but he also listened to a lot of rap and whatever else he could find with tons of curse words in it. Hanji listened to what she liked to call "a little bit of everything" which included pop, rock, metal, anime soundtracks, and techno.

So, she was bit wary when Levi told her he found a song he though she'd like.

The song was called "Centipede" and it was by a group called Knife Party. She hadn't heard of that artist before, but there was an old video game called Centipede, so maybe this song was about that game? Although she thought this might end up being one of his dumb jokes, and not something he actually thought she would like, she went ahead and clicked the play button.

She was pleasantly surprised. From a critical standpoint, it took entirely too long for the bass to drop, but she had to admit that she did find the combination of EDM and nature documentary amusing.

~oOo~


End file.
